Do you realize you are 51 years old and that your services are no longer required? I truly appreciate your past services and admire how you handled housing two tiny humans at once 28 years ago and single tiny humans twice more after that. Really! BRAVO!
Feel free to pass this along to your friends, Ovary One and Ovary Two, as well as the fallopian highways between the three of you.
I understand you currently reside in the state of Perimenopause. Would you mind telling me when you plan to take up permanent residence in Menopause? I hear it’s a lovely retirement village. You might want to check it out soon.
In the meantime, I cordially invite you to f*ck off!
The woman you are periodically torturing (pun intended).