The inability to get excited about something you buy for yourself.

Last October, the Microsoft Surface Studio was announced. I drooled. Only in my dreams will I ever get one of those, I thought. Alongside the Studio was the Surface Book. I had hope for that but figured the price would come down as new devices are announced. A year later, that’s exactly what happened.

I’ve been back and forth about this for the past several months. I’ve weighed want vs. need, yada, yada. I considered the fact that I bought a Dell for cheap from a work auction that has the power to support Photoshop and Lightroom (also games). I couldn’t calibrate the color on that laptop, though, so editing photos on it was pointless. Again, I was trapped downstairs in my office to edit photos.

When the Surface 3 had been out for a while and the Surface 4 was just being released, I bought a Surface 2 with Windows 8, which was a major flop. The 2 could not be upgraded to Windows 10 and lost support of further updates. I then found a Surface 3 (not the Pro version) with just 4GB of RAM. That’s not enough to support photo editing software, but it’s enough to surf the internet, blog, and play games.

I stopped pursuing photography work partly because I’d never be seen upstairs … or I’d fall far behind on editing and push delivery times back far more than I’m comfortable with. I already feel unsupported when it comes to photography, but that’s a whole other story (perhaps for another time).

The price match offer I received was better than buying from the Windows store with a student discount (pays to have kids in college) or even from Amazon. I finally made the decision to just do it. It arrived today, but I couldn’t get excited because I immediately felt guilty for buying it.

From the husband I hear, “I don’t really care. When things start breaking on my computer, I’ll just go blow a bunch of money on all new stuff.” I get it! It’s a convenience and a luxury that’s not really needed.

Then the girls started talking about tossing them some money to help pay for college. As if I don’t already feel guilty enough about not being able to afford to put all four kids (let alone one) completely through college. I paid for my own education. It’s not the end of the world. They get free room and board, food, and auto insurance while in college. That definitely counts as assistance.

With 18 months free financing and quarterly bonuses to use towards paying it off, it will be paid off way before that. So, yeah! I bought something significant for myself. I don’t need anything for Christmas or my birthday. Call me crazy. Call me ridiculous. Call me stupid. I did it. It’s here. It’s done.

That’s all!

Written by Sheila K

I don't believe humans truly have a purpose. Our goal is to survive until we expire. Period. Joy is pleasurable and worrying is not. Balance in life is crucial; but if the scales must tip, may they tip on the side of joy. I’m just another human trying to survive. I blog because I can and because I enjoy it, not because it serves any purpose.

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