Life in general is kind of pointless. What’s it all for? Anything?
I work because I’m paid to do it. That tiny part makes sense to me. I clean because why? Oh yeah! So it can get messed up again. I attempt to have fun because … ? I don’t have an answer for that one because it seems selfish to have fun.
There are so many things to do, but I have trouble picking something to do because after I’ve done it, I wonder why I did it. What did it really matter. How did it make my life any better for having done it? So I sit. So I wonder.
I think of all the things that need to be done in and for this house and freeze up because I don’t know where to start or how to get it all done.
I consider all the things other people do – people who seem to be constantly busy … too busy to get together with friends or family and just BE. I don’t want to be like them. I want to sit … and just BE.
Why do I have to create a list of accomplishments in my life? Does it add to anyone’s worth to say they have done this, that, and another thing?
I’m not great at any one thing. Really. I’m just average at anything I do. No. That’s a lie. I’m pretty great at sitting on my ass. So that’s what I’ll do.