I avoid confrontation like the plague! I don’t like to be the bad guy, and I don’t like to be in situations where someone is arguing a point with me and I feel powerless to defend myself. These things happen at home, in my personal life, and at work.
At home, I become the push-over – the one everyone knows can’t say “no” – the one that always says “that’s OK” on the outside but on the inside it’s so not OK. I try to be the easy-going, laid-back person when I’m really dying inside over the smallest things, like crumbs or other dribbles left behind in the kitchen and not cleaned up by the person who left them … like covers left crumpled on the couches or thrown on the floor … like dishes not returned to the kitchen.
In other areas of my personal life, I avoid confrontation, arguments, disagreements, and even voicing a differing opinion in certain circumstances because I don’t like people to be mad at me. This may make me seem like a pansy lacking self confidence. Or, maybe I come off as aloof, which can be interpreted as bitchy and self-centered. Wow. Others’ opinions bred from misconceptions can be incredibly nasty and hurtful.
At work … Oh, at work! All was fine until the introduction of phones to my job description nearly a year ago. Most phone calls are fine, but there are some that rattle me to my core. I call it telephone roulette. I never know what I’ll be faced with when I answer a call. So every time the phone rings, I jump. Knowledge should be our armor, but that armor has holes. Things are constantly growing, changing, and evolving in my department as well as with the entire company. I like to know everything possible about issues we receive calls for. When I don’t know the how, when, or why when confronted by a caller, I feel like an idiot – not at all a strong representative of the company. That bothers me.
Mark Twain once said, “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and arrogance.” Maybe I think too much and therefore worry too much about what others think of me. If they’re going to think I’m a bitch or am self-centered, I may as well go down being confident rather than mousy. I need to let myself be ignorant to others’ opinions of me and just arrogant enough to believe in myself.