I threw on sweats, ran a brush through my hair, and made it just a couple minutes late for the video today. Since the group leader (pastor’s wife) is out today, there was no discussion at all – just the video. I think a little bit of discussion amongst ourselves would have been good. I have all these thoughts and questions in my head, and no one can answer them. I felt invisible today. I also felt like the biggest hypocrite in the room. With the doubts I have, why should I be there? Do I deserve to be there? I don’t know. Am I the only one who feels this way? Is anyone even reading this?
Today Priscilla talked about God leading the people out of Egypt. I believe she’s getting at the path He laid out for them, which apparently was not a straight line. She pointed out that God’s path may not be the one we’ve chosen and asked if we would go with Him anyway. Philosophically, things will go as they will go as we do without doing (the Wu-Wei principle). So I guess we are to go with Him without question. I can even pull Newton into this. Newton’s third law says, “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.” This refers to motion, of course, but isn’t life always in motion?
Religion tells us that there’s something God wants us to see about ourselves when things don’t go according to our own plan. He’s pointing something out to us. I tend to get hung up on trying to figure out what that is. If we have a watchfulness and quietness of mind to begin with, perhaps this wouldn’t be so hard. Perhaps we wouldn’t have the need or desire to align ourselves so rigidly to such plans and goals. If we just go along and let life unfold as it will, we can live in harmony. In practicing non-action, noting remains undone.
When things go off without a hitch for so long, we feel in control. It’s our own plan. This is what we want, the way we want to live. If something shatters that plan, we crumble. OK, so we hit a brick wall and have fallen on our asses. OUCH! That wasn’t in the plan, but it happened. Now what do we do about it? Do we sit there nursing our wounds blaming everyone else? NO! We get off the ground, evaluate the situation, adjust our course, and move on. In evaluating the situation, perhaps we’re seeing that something about ourselves that God’s trying to point out. When adjusting our course, we have no idea where God is leading – we just go. If it’s not right, I suppose we’ll hit another brick wall and fall on our asses yet again. Rinse and repeat! But I’m contradicting myself. Letting life unfold may mean a road that leads uphill sometimes and downhill others, but there shouldn’t be brick walls.
I wasn’t paying attention recently, and I guess I jumped in a rail car to ride downhill with my eyes closed. I reached the end of that track and had to get out to climb a mountain – nearly straight up. I reached a level where I no longer need to search for footholds, but I’m still climbing a fairly steep grade.
Cool Parkour in the video by the way.
Don’t you just love my ADD mind???