Psychoanalyze This!

 

Sally Fields as Sybil (1976)

Who Couldn’t Use a Little Sometimes?

In John 8:7, Jesus said, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”  That woman had committed adultery, but the inspiration for this post is nowhere near that magnitude or even in that direction whatsoever.  The verse just popped into my head and seemed to fit somehow.

The inspiration for this blog is the seemingly natural human tendency to judge others and form opinions of people based on random interactions with them.  People are often misunderstood.

Perhaps someone is having a bad day and is a little grumpy.  That doesn’t mean they are normally angry, hateful people.  Maybe someone is a little sad, but that doesn’t make them chronic depressives.  Some people are more carefree and choose not to stress over everything, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care.

Then there are some who may truly stand to benefit from some professional psychotherapy just to talk things out and be reassured that they are not “crazy”.  Some people may seem to have it all together in public but fall apart at home and constantly worry about what others think.  Worse yet, there are people who assume from a person’s actions that they need professional help.  It’s not their place to decide such a thing.

Picture the following:

1. A person is perceived as an attention seeker due to outrageous behavior and is outcast or shunned.  Maybe that person truly is an outgoing and fun-loving person.

2. A person seems to be a perfectionist, always worried about things being “just so”.  Many times this is a sign of insecurity, and that person just needs a little more assurance and recognition.

3. A person may appear lazy and not to care about anything.  Often these are the people who lack self-confidence or are overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin.

4. A person may seem to have diarrhea of the mouth.  Well, this one may be true.  We just have to deal with that!  🙂

Never assume you have a person all figured out before taking the time to really get to know that person.  I’ve seen a lot of people avoided based on opinions and assumptions, and I think that’s really sad.

I try not to care what people think of me, but I’m certainly the object of assumptions, too.  I’m not an excellent conversationalist in person or on the phone.  I trip over my own words and sometimes make no sense at all.  So I avoid phone calls, and I’m sure I sometimes appear to be a lunatic in person.  There may be a bit of truth to that one!  I am a bit of a loon, but it keeps me young at heart!

Remember what they say about assuming: ASS / U / ME  …

 

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4 comments

  • True. But as I pointed out at the beginning of this entry, I wasn’t referring to any great sins here. It just popped into my mind. I was only referring to personality types. I don’t have to agree with or like a person’s personality, but if they are family, I’m not going to disassociate with them based on their personality. You’ve dug deeper, and I would agree with you in the dire circumstances you highlighted. It is possible to love a person yet hate certain choices they make. Of course, I would never support choices to harm others in any way. Thanks for your thoughts!

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  • Picture all of those scenarios amongst family only. I see this happen within families, and it makes me sad. Family should be loved and accepted unconditionally.

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    • I can love my family member’s souls unconditionally. It is their actions that I sometimes have a hard time with. Would I accept physical abuse? Not under any circumstance. Emotional abuse? Sometimes… because I know the person is hurting about something else. I have put up with a lot because I know I am not perfect either. An honest attempt at change counts for a lot! Jesus loved all people unconditionally, but He also said, “Go and sin no more”. He expected change and I don’t think he continued to hang out with those who refused. Correct me if I’m wrong on this. I think unconditional acceptance of everything a family member says and does is a disservice to them as well as ourselves because it gives them justification for behavior that is just totally wrong and hurtful..

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  • Good blog. I try very hard to give people the benefit of the doubt and rely heavily on ALL experiences with a person to decide on whether a behavior or words are a natural part of their make up. I think that is important. If a person has always seemed shy or standoffish and one day suddenly has diarrhea of the mouth giving TMI, I wonder if this person is asking for help. I have done that myself sometimes and the times I have regretted it is when people threw my words back into my face, judged me, and acted like I was being totally inappropriate. You know what? Sometimes “inappropriateness” is necessary to get people to listen!
    I’m not talking about attacking someone with words, I’m talking about sharing feelings and ideas that are intimate and meaningful. If a person does not normally share herself and then blabs, it means something!
    I usually give people several chances before I decide whether I’m better with or without them. No one’s total is the sum of one day

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